We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
