I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
