It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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