I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
