You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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