Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
