Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
