i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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