and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
