No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize