allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
