She's JV to your varsity
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize