We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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