He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
