I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
