but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
