I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
