Define "chronic" masturbator.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
