I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't put those talents on a resume
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
