im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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