whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
