Me too!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
