I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
