Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
