Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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