Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize