Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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