Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
