we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize