Pants 0. Shit 1.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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