i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
