I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
