Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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