i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm like, not good at living.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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