worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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