Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
