Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
