Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Houston, we have a squirter
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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