butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize