yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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