Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you would pick up someone in the library
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
