Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
