hell yes lets make some ravioli
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
