when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We named our party play list daddy issues
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
