This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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