Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
