the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
