Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
