He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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