We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
