Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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