the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
