I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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