I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
