whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
