i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
