Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
