Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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