If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
