New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
