I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
