is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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