I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
this boner is exhausting
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize