thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
zippers are such a cool invention
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
