yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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