Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
