just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
