What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your cock deserves a montage
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
